Pretty Awesome We Are!

Indeed.

Taken at The Powell's Wedding

October 13th, 2007

Hugs and Love Today

My thoughts and prayers are going out to the Bayly family today, its been 2 years since we lost Sweet Sophie.. I am thinking of their family, and my heart and love goes out to them.

Puppies Need Love

Our doggies Boomer and Otto are sick. Boomer with kidney problems, and Otto with pancreatitis. We are hoping that the vets will be good to our boys and they will be healthy soon!

Lost

I am having a flare up with my Lupus.
I am not happy with myself.
I am feeling sad at night.
I feel lost sometimes in the day.
I feel like I can't breathe.
I love my boyfriend, but am having a hard time showing him.
I feel like no one understands.
I wish someone understood.
Last night I wanted to die.
Today I am glad I am here.
Its another chance.

Thoughts on Thursday

I am confused, I am angry, I am sad, I am many mixed negative emotions right now. This morning my pants felt tight as I attepted to zip them up, so I ripped them off in anger and frustration. I have put on some weight... I KNOW! I KNOW! Ever since Puerto Rico, I have not been really paying close attention to the dimples and extra layering that my body has put on. Then I get an email from a college friend, that suffered with anorexia for years before and after college, and I was talking to her about depression that I was suffering though, as well as the depression I am feeling from the extra weight I have put on. She sent me these pictures to remind me of a lives that are worse than mine.

I feel even worse, not only for my terrible self image but for these women in these pictures... I have done terrible terrible things to my body, but I have never seen anything this BAD. I am lucky I guess.... very lucky that it was NEVER this bad.

Okay I am NOT FAT!


I DONT WANT THIS BODY!

So, I saw these pictures and I felt like sharing them to whomever reads this. I have yoga tonight, and I have been watching what I am eating. I am trying to take care of myself mentally better, that I have completeky forgotten about my physical body.

Fun Pictures

Introducing The Powell's!

Got married last Saturday and it was such a beautiful wedding! I am so happy to be the maid of honor and be a part of this special day! Congrats to Erika and Graeme!!!

I love you both!

Im a Dork!

My friend Cat has the ticker on her blog, and I always think its adorable! I wanted one too, and I customized it for Jon and I. I know, Im a total retard! But I dont care! I love it!

Last night I took Jon to Mortons Steakhouse for his 30th birthday! WHOA BABY!!!!! It was beautiful, romatic, and delicious!!! We felt sooo good afterwards, and didn't even feel stuffed! It was heaven! haha! So my man is 30 and I am right behind him... in less than a year at least! =)

Lots planned for next year and I am hoping it will be better then this year! Lots of progress in my life and I am feeling great about things again! YES ME (pumping fists in the air!)!!!!

HOORAY!

325

Its been 325 days, and its can still be as painful as the day 1. I am sad and depressed often, and feel hopeless, and very angry with myself. I am sad that its affecting my relationship with others. I am still very angry and tormented by that man in blue, and this morning I felt the pains all over again, and it made me cry.

I will not though let this ruin my life as it did last year. I am going to try my hardest to stay strong! I am taking the right steps, no drugs, medication, therapy, and lots of love. I am going to really try hard.

I love these boys!

Doing my Part to Save The Boobies!

I am walking for the 4th time in the Breast Cancer walk for the Cure. 60 miles of blisters, shin splints, and swollen feet! But its definitly for a great cause, and I actually really enjoy the amazing people that I meet along the way in those 3 days! Visit the site at

http://08.the3day.org

You can pull up my page by looking me up by my name! I am already one of the TOP FUNDRAISERS!!!! for the Washington DC walk in 2008! YAY me!!!!!!