Tired and Annoyed...Really

I have been so tired lately. My thoughts are racing through my head and I cannot stop and thinking clearly on anything. I have been so tired lately and I have a funny feeling that this is going to lead to another small depression period. That sucks. I have been doing pretty good about controlling my feelings and for the most part, feeling quite well actually.

I have been good about controlling my feelings with rumors and outbursts that I have "heard" from others. I guess that I am that interesting to talk about, especially with what I heard I have been doing lately. I heard lots of of rumors that I have a coke problem, that I am out of control, that I have a heroin and crack cocaine problem. I heard that I am just wild and need professional help! WOW! I guess I would be talking about me too... if it were true. Sorry to bust all the bubbles of people that are interested in my life, but choose not to ever ask me about my life. its funny that the people that are talking shit about me, have not even spoken to me since 2006. Whats going on people? Are you that fucking lame? I know you read this too, so I am asking you directly..... waiting... waiting...

I wish that you "now judgemental" people that used to be my friends, would just simply ask me straight forward how I am doing. Its so weird. I go through a very difficult time, and WHOOOSH! All these people that I thought were my friends, that I would trust... GONE... blink of an eye... poof!

I get through my difficult time with the friends that stuck around and make peace with things that I have done in my life. Next thing I know.... these people that took off on my last year start spreading rumors about my personal life... which by the way... you are soooooo fucking off. I wish that I could even afford to do the amount of coke and drugs that you say that I am doing. I wish that I could do it every day... but unfrotunatly I dont. I dont even do it every weekend, sometimes I dont even do it every month. God, I am some coke head huh? Wow, I guess a coke head is someone that has done coke once, twice, 3 times..... I am not sure, is a coke head someone that does coke every day? every weekend? every month? Please advise of a a correct definition... because I am pretty sure last I checked, last I snorted.... that I do not qualify as a coke head. Sorry to fuck that rumor up for you, I know that you were excited about talking about me.... at least talk about something that truthful and correct. Really. I defend myself on here, this blog because I want too, but I will never defend myself to those people, I have no reason, they have already made up their minds, and judged like assholes. I am surprised though how much I am a topic of people's conversations! Thanks for admiring my life that much! But really, there is no need. I am living a pretty simple life right now, and I like it.

I have gone off.... opps. I wrote more than I really wanted too.... on well. Its out there.
You know what I am addicted too? Jelly belly Jelly Beans... damn are they delicious!

Last note: What I do is my business, and if i want to party a little bit and blow a line here or there, thats my business not yours. PERIOD. You people are doing much more dangerous things to yourselves... like talking crap and judging as hard as you do... its really not healthy for you... its probably the worst thing you can possibly do to your bodies, mind and health. So technically you are doing a really bad thing.... not me. =)