Rain Rain Go Away

I had a long depressing day yesterday, with my first treatment that took a little longer than usual, I am feeling more hopefuly about today. I had been anxious all day yesterday, waiting for the time for me to leave work and go to the doctors.

I am sad that I have to go through this, and I am sad that the lupus and psoriosis will never go away. I am ashamed of the way my body looks with the red patchy spots all over. I feel shy when we are in bed and he first touches me, but his touch is comforting and reassuring. I get depressed knowing that twice a week, I have to go to the doctors and get a light treatment done, that they have to give me a shot of chemo before I step into "the box". I wish I didnt have to go through this, I wish that my skin was more healthier, I wish that I was not ashamed of the way my body looks.

Today, however, I am feeling less discouraged. I am hoping to get started on my very last assignment for my class! I am looking forward to leaving work early, and I am looking forward to spending the evening with my man at the Baysox game tonight!

If you are reading this, I meant what I said last night. It's true... you are a really really cool guy! And yes, I am falling in love. Oh! And its with you!