I Am Getting There

I told him that I was falling in love with him. I scared myself to death saying that outloud, but I had to do it. I had to get over my fear of commitment. I am afraid though, I am afraid that it will not be mutual. I am afraid that I am thinking too much about him. I am afraid that he will not love me the same way back. I want to be in love again. I want to be in love with him.

On another note, I had the man come back and haunt my dreams last night. It might have been a reaction from not taking my medicine in the last 3 days. He scared me. He touched me. He hurt me. I did not feel safe, until I was woken up by the BF who was trying to sleep next to me. I felt safe, knowing that he was there. I feel very safe with him.

He asked me about my intentions during a night out with friends (Alcohol had inhibited his memory and he asked me again last night) ha ha! What are my intentions? I have never thought about it until he asked me that. Here is a brief list of my intentions, not in any particular order, and I am not sure if this is a complete list:
1. To fall in madly deeply crazy love with you!
2. To be a good GF!
3. To be honest with my feelings, not to be afraid to cry, laugh, and be crazy with you!
4. To share my life with you.
5. To support you and cheer you on at the finish lines!
6. To become a good riding partner! ha!
7. To eventually become someone that you will not be afraid of, to trust, and share your life with me also!
8. To experience feelings that had been untouched for a long time.
9. To share the sunshine with you!!!!!!
10. To just be happy.