Last Time This May...

He was getting ready to leave for Wyoming. We were set in our ways of coming to the realization that we are not meant to be anything more that what we already are (between only Jon and I). It was not long after, mearly a few days of him being settles in the wild Teton Mountains that I discovered our first... what do I want to call it? Not a tragedy, not a mistake... I have to think about what I want to call our first real circumstance while being what we were then.

A year has gone by, I have not forgotten that moment that I realized what was happening to my body, what was growing inside, what disappeared so quickly. I can remember my phone call to you, I was on my way to my parents house. I was so scared and pissed off, excited, nervous. Mostly scared of what I would hear on the other end of the line.

A year has gone by and look where we are today. So many life changing events have come our way. New destinations, new adventures, new loves.

Same love for eachother.

I asked for "October" a special song written at a very heartbreaking time in our lives. I wanted to have another copy, since mine was sort of muffled. He sent the words and they made me cry. I heard his sisters song Keep The Faith, it made me cry.

I am holding on to this faith, from where I got it, I do not know. I am holding on so tight and I am trying not to let go. I am determined to keep my faith and hopefully he is too. Whats going to happen when October comes around? What about December? I am nervous for what I might feel during those times. But, I will hold on to the faith that I have and keep a strong mentality.

OCTOBER

Jim Downey's in jail

I found him there,

Twiddling his thumbs, never had a chance,

The world's not fair.

Don Downey's insane,

He's lost somewhere,

When will he return, no one knows,

He's lost somewhere.

Emma Wilson's afraid,

She's lost the one,

All her little horses, love and innocence,

She'd found them there.

Evelyn is ashamed,

She's unaware,

Self-acceptance, in a beat up card board box,

She'll never look there.

Sam Foster is dead,

No longer believes in prayer,

All of him is hurt, all of him is guilt,

He's not really there.

Our country's in vain,

We've had a scare,

Pilgrim's Pride, turned to arrogance,

So hard to care.

Our World is in pain,

Love and Peace are rare,

Burning buildings, all the violence,

In this we share.

I cannot write anymore to this.