Yes, I Am Pretty Fucking Angry.

I am pretty fucking angry. Which makes me angry at everyone else that I think about. I am in a hateful, angry, terribly pissed mood. I am so angry with everyone, myself, and even my dog. I feel that life is very fucking unfair, and I am not getting a single little chance at anything decent and good. I hate love, thinking about love, thinking about when I was in love, who I loved...etc. I hate the men that I loved.

One of my past loves has been calling me, checking in on me, waiting for me to visit him. I blow him off. But I do make arrangements to go and visit him. I cannot wait, but I can. I feel that I make no sense. I want to hate him right now, I do hate him. Maybe I don't. He is worried about me, he misses me. I miss him. Actually, I don't right now. I miss someone else. He too, I hate. Right now. God, I hate this feeling.

I am hungry, I hate that too. I am really not hungry, but I eat anyways. I eat too much, I am losing weight though. I am not healthy. I hate healthy. I hate food. The support groups save me through the week. I hate them. Not really. But I want too.

I want to cry. I hate that too.