Outta Luck

The pain I felt I didn't deserve

I did nothing wrong

the things I felt made me ill and tore apart my heart.

I buried the pain deep inside

with anything sharp that I could find

I covered the slashes so nobody could see

just how the world was treating me.

That night no one came to my rescue,

my whole world caved in

I slowly sunk in to a box

and wouldn't let anyone in.

My life had hit a standstill

and it wouldn't restart

I curled up in my bed

whilst the pain tore me apart.

All the pain that I felt

meant nothing to me

because the thing that really mattered

was that I had lost the real me.

I was enclosed in a body

that was always full of pain

I felt like the body I lost

was never coming back again.

The pain became unbearable

and my life, one big strain

I felt it was time to end it all

as I no longer wanted pure pain.

I would pray to the angels

and all the god's above

that one day soon I could join them

and finally be happy up above.

I grasped a handful of tablets

and a sharp razor blade

but I stopped myself from doing it

as I felt that things would change.